"Once in treatment, those
who formed a real partnership with their therapist-by being open, even
with painful subjects and by working on issues between sessions-were
more likely to progress."
--Consumer Reports. 11/95
WHAT IS THE PSYCHOTHERAPY
EXPERIENCE LIKE?
What actually happens in the
day-to-day process of psychotherapy? What are the client's
responsibilities in therapy, and what might he or she actually do? What
are the therapist's responsibilities, and what does he or she do-and not
do?
WHAT DOES THE CLIENT DO IN
PSYCHOTHERAPY?
Once you decide that a particular
therapist is likely to be a useful guide through unexplored territory in
your life, the work can begin. What do you do next?
Your primary responsibility in
psychotherapy is to work toward becoming more aware of your experiences,
thoughts, feelings, and memories, and to talk about them during the
therapy session. The awareness may be about any aspect of your present
or past life. It may be about the therapy or the therapist, about night
dreams, daydreams and fantasies. It may be about hopes, joys, sorrows,
fears, and relationships-anything that may come to mind during the
session. Although people new to psychotherapy often try to
"prepare" for therapy sessions by creating an agenda or
deciding in advance what to talk about, they end up trusting that the
process itself will bring to mind highly useful material. Sometimes it
is the sequence of topics that are mentioned or the recall of events
that appear to have been "forgotten" that provide important
clues to what is going on for you below the surface. It may take time
for you to feel convinced that your therapist is vitally interested in
hearing about your ordinary as well as unusual experiences, and that she
or he will not be judgmental or shaming no matter what you reveal or
talk about.
It is sometimes particularly useful to report and
talk about dreams, uncomfortable feelings such as anger and
disappointment, and feelings of warmth or longing. Dreams can provide a
useful window to that part of your inner life that is harder to access
directly. Feelings that arise in a psychotherapy session may also have
been an important part of relationships with important people in your
past and can be linked to important memories. The therapist will
therefore encourage you to talk freely about-rather than act on-feelings
that may come up about him or her.
The process of revealing thoughts and experiences
that are uncomfortable, painful, or laden with shame or guilt is
important in the course of therapy. Indeed, simply talking at length
about the details of such experiences in the presence of someone who is
interested and empathic tends to be helpful, since it reduces the degree
to which you feel alone in the experience or ashamed of some aspect of
it. Revealing joyful experiences or points of pride and delight is also
important.
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